I know, I know I've been a blip on the radar saying I have been writing this blog forever ago.
Do I have an excuse probably a Million that I could say and than think of another Million More,
As par for the course it's been an up and down wild ride and the usual tales of my life.I should have
returned emails and got it together instead I went into hibernation watching the Economy Tank
(I am sure it is all Obama's fault), Congress and Senate unwilling to set the Budget so we can have an
economy. And the usual Mass Hysteria about what the Police are doing in the vast Land Of Zion. Yet
I sat and watched Casey Anthony and Housewives, and so many Documentaries on the Vast Land of Escorting.
And I listened to alot of Music as usual and I watched Oprah's Final Show almost to many times. I read Backpage
and all the other vast resources we use to share our time with one another and Busted Newspaper, too much
was going on and sometimes a Bear will lick it's wounds and will sit down and let them heal before going out to
fight the same battle. And I felt like I had been in battle and was constantly fighting someone or for something.
I think that some felt like at times they too were riding the same Rollercoaster I was on and I am eternally grateful
for those who supported me thru the Past Year.Leatherbound Journal's, Jersey's,The Lion King Musical and most
of all kindness. Yet soon enough I had really began to Hibernate I would come out once and awhile
and peek around but soon down the Rabbit Hole I would disappear again.
I was like Mike Vick coming to play his first season after his lame Federal Prison stint.I had lost my endorsements like him,
I locked myself in my own self imposed jail sentence. And I kept to myself and I lived my life and kept it movin.I went blonde and
back to brown again, I was changing the Exterior to cover what was going on in The Interior.Not that I have not covered it in other Blogs so no need to
repeat but 2010 sucked and it was just time for me to go back to my den and sleep it off. And I did sleep and think and
listened and watched and I learned alot of lessons I read and reread some of my blogs and other little blips.
This story appears in the Sept. 5 issue of ESPN The Magazine.
WAITING ALONE IN THE DARK, Michael Vick steps out from behind a concrete pillar and into the glaring light. He strides over cables and equipment toward an area lit by a single source, a projector flashing a collection of words and phrases onto the basement wall behind him. As he gets into position for The Magazine's photo shoot, each word -- Monstrous, Humble, Criminal, Gifted -- burns its way into the contours of his face and body. Even though the display is a blinding reminder of Vick's journey from NFL icon to prisoner and back again, the quarterback never flinches. Not even a few minutes later, when he glances off camera and sees his children staring up at a constellation of the world's wildly conflicting opinions of their father.Noticing them, Vick twists around to finally scrutinize the words for himself. Cameras fall, and the room goes still and quiet as his eyes dart up and down and across the wall. Then he nods gently and turns back around to face the lens, this time leaning into the projections, ever so slightly, as if to own them, all of them, once and for all. "It's perfect, those words are my life, the whole thing," he says after. "It's gonna be interesting to watch people pick this up and point to the different words and say: 'I believe that, I don't believe that; that's how I feel, that's how you feel; that's what I like, that's what I don't like.' It's all me."Whether they settle on the word Hero or Monster -- or both -- the one thing most people can agree on is that it's almost impossible to look away from Vick. As the quarterback of the Super Bowl favorite heading into the 2011 season, Vick has pulled off what no other athlete, save for Muhammad Ali, has been able to accomplish: to return bigger and better than ever after a disastrous tumble from grace. He's a singular talent with a singular story, which is why, for the first time in The Mag's history, we're devoting an issue to one man:him He was Honest and showed Tenacity, he took hits that were alot harder and some unfair. Rarely did you hear a complaint he would take the
oppurtunity he was given and used it to teach others what Greed can do to your soul.This is were my confusion began Mike Vick allowed
his Cousin to use his property went to a few Fights and Bet on it.That is an evil crime the worse we should have just thrown the key
away and let him rot. Yet I have not heard of another Person being convicted of a Federal Crime for Dog Fighting which is similar to
Cockfighting but they are just Chickens Right???? Mike Vick has done more for the Humane Society than PETA and still he's the bad guy?
Yet thru all the nonsense he excelled this past season playing the best season of his Career thus far.Humility and Grace are two Qualities we expect
from people to atone for what they did wrong he has done all of this and has gone above and beyond. Yet I hear none of this when Wienergate happened
or when others in Congress have got caught in a "Sex Scandel" they still get paid even if they resign one of them gets $900,000.00 just to
sit at home but the Middle Class carry the Burden of the Upper Class.Yet if you fight Dogs, take Steroids you are going to a Congressional
Hearing and then you get indicted and that is why the Budget has gone to Hell. Bohner is crying and we are going back to the Sixties.
Second Lesson I learned is that even when you try to extend an Olive Branch and do the best you can, you might as well let it go.
But that's not what our troops do they keep fighting day in and day out.I also watched alot of War Documentries and 20/20 did an amazing story
on a Soldier that had a Live M-80 that had not detonated fins sticking out from his hip and the tip coming slightly pushing it's way thru to his leg.
Usually you just toss them aside "collateral damage" yet never once did his Medic on the Ground who treated him stop, nor did the team in the Apatche
that should have never transported him, to the Two Surgeons who had an Ammunitions Expert who held the M-80 who had only Six of their Staff stay
in the makeshift OR to get this Soldier home.Sacrifice and Honor that's another two great qualities to have. P.F.C. Restrapo is the Documentery that
got me though young Boys in the truly worse place for an American to be the most dangerous region in world yet these Men did what they had to
it is Gritty and amazing yet the irony of this story is that the Man who made the Movie was killed making the next one.Congress has time for a Vacation
I am sure those Brave Souls who eat crap while they eat steak amazing, amazing.I am so confused of how this ever was Obama's fault I am pretty sure
that this began long ago.Why Pay Taxes, who knows if we will ever see Social Security?Blame and who can run away from it is all we think about which
leads me to my third lesson.
Which was alot of lessons in one.Sweet, Sweet Oprah her final episode is one the whole world should watch and I shall give little tidbits from it.I encourage everyone to read this whole Final Episode it applies to all of us even though it is Oprah "Nobody but you is Responsible for your life.It doesn't matter what your Mama did,it doesn't matter your Daddy didn't do.You are Responsible for your life.You are Responsible for the energy you create for yourself, and you are Responsible for the energy
that you bring to others." Now the Final show was way back in May and I had to watch read reread and watch it again.I knew my energy was not supposed to be spread it so I kept myself busy and started traveling out of town to take a break from The City Of Salt.I wanted to be still and so still I became and I thought about all of my Adventures and My Life and how lucky I am.I am alive and have truly lived a pretty amazing life and we can all have a Reality TV Show and YouTube all of you stuff
if a Hooker who saw Govener Spitzer one time can be on one mhmmmmmm.I am kidding I don't think people would believe my tales.Another tidbit, from Oprah " I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common:They all wanted validation.If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool
in your kitchen right now,I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire.They want to know:'Do you see me? Do you hear me?Does what I say mean anything to you?" "Understanding that one principle,that everybody wants to be heard.It has worked for this platform and I guarantee you it will work for yours.Try it with your Children,your boss,your friends, to those who matter to you.Validate them.'I see you.I hear you.and what you say matters to me.Not that I have seen or met 30,000 people.It was everything I have been wanting say and never have words touched me as deep as Great Expectations but this was not just for me but a way to acknowledge that each of you I remember sometimes you need to make it jog a little brief reminder.I don't usually like to mix worlds when it comes to this but I think this is just to amazing not to share. And I believe this to my core and say this a heartfelt as words can be.I know I've never been alone, and you haven't either.And I know that that presence, that flow--some people call it grace--is working in my life at every single turn.And yours too, if you let it in.It's closer than your breath, and it's yours for the asking." "Even when I didn't have a name for it, I could feel the voice bigger than myself speaking to me, and all of us have that same voice.Be still and know it. You can acknowledge it or not.You can worship it or not.You can praise it, you can ignore it or you can know it. Know it. It's always there speaking to you and waiting for you to hear it in every move, in every decision. I wait and I listen.I'm still--I wait and listen for guidence that's greater than my meager mind." "The only time I've ever made mistakes is when I didn't listen.So what I know is your life is speaking to you.First in whispers......It's subtle,those whispers.And if you don't pay attention to the whispers,it gets louder and louder.It's like getting thumped upside the head, like my grandmother used to do.......You don't pay attention to that, it's like getting a brick upside your head.You don't pay attention to that, the whole brick wall falls down.That's the pattern I've seen in my life, and it's played out over and over again on this show." " What I've gleaned from this show:Whispers are always messages, and if you don't hear the message, the message turns into a problem.And if you don't handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don't handle the crises, disaster.Your life is speaking to you.What is it saying?" I am not saying that you all will see this in the same light I do, but with her closing I think the Big O summed it up and I feel that during my 10+ years being a dancer and confidante, friend, is how Oprah ended her 25 years on her stage. "You all have been a safe harbor for me for 25 years. It's strange, I know, but you have been. And what I hope is that you all will be that safe harbor for somebody else--their safe place to fall. Do for them what you are telling me the show has dine for you. Connect. Embrace. Liberate. Love somebody. Just one person. And the spread that to two. And as many as you can.You'll see the difference it makes." " I want you to know that what you have to say matters to me.I understand the manifestation of grace, so I know there are no coincidences.There are none." I know that there are times that some held me up when I wasn't listening to the whispers but the wall fell around my head and I was humbled a few times sometimes more of a faceplant and I am still standing. This final quote I think sums me up and the Gratitude I have always felt for not only the respect that so many have given while others have taken it away."I am truly amazed that I, who started out in rural Mississippi in 1954 when the vision for a black girl was limited to bein either a maid or a teacher in a segregated school, could end up here.It is no coincidence that a lonely little girl who felt not a lot of love, even though my parents and grandparents did the best they could, it is no coincidence that I grew up to feel the genuine kindness, affection, trust and validation from millions of you all over the world. from you whose names I will never know.I learned what love is." "Each day when I came down on our Harpo elevator, I would offer a prayer of gratitude for the delight and the privlege of doing this show. Gratitude is the single greatest treasure I will take with me from this experience. The opportunity to have done this work, to be embraced by all of you who watched, is one of the greatest honors any human being could have. And I thank each of you for allowing me to speak in such a way that, no matter what was happening in your life, you could see the best of your selves. For everything there is a season, we know, and our time together on this platform is coming to a close. In a few moments when the final credits roll, I see it not as an ending, but as an extraordinary beginning. One chapter closed. The next chapter beginning for all of us."I've been asked many times during this farewell season, 'Is ending the show bittersweet?' Well, I say all sweet. No bitter. And here is why: Many of us have been together for 25 years. We have hooted and hollered together, had our aha! moments, we ugly-cried together and we did our gratitude journals. So I thank you all for your support and your trust in me. I thank you for sharing this yellow brick road of blessings. I thank you for tuning in every day along with your mothers and your sisters and your daughters, your partners, gay and otherwise, your friends and all the husbands who got coaxed into watching Oprah. And I thank you for being as much of a sweet inspiration for me as I've tried to be for you. "I won't say goodbye. I'll just say...until we meet again"
| 
